My Best Defense
by ShatteredDiamonds
Summary: At thirteen, they're awkward and clumsy and not quite sure on this whole love thing yet- but they're trying, and that's all that counts. / KendallxLogan, JamesxCarlos /


**My Best Defense  
****Carlos/James**

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**AN: **Story title, and song used is 'Already Over' by Red. It definetly helps if you listen to that while you read this, because that's what I listened while I wrote this. Enjoy!

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"_I know it's already over now; nothing left to lose, loving you again."_

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Carlos traces the lines of James' hipbones with his eyes as they all lie under a fort made of sheets and blankets, pillows and duvets. Beach towels and couch cusions. Kendall's mom's dishrags and washcloths. Old curtains and ancient quilts.

It's raining outside, rain softly pelting the roof as it mixes with the snow on the ground, creating slush that would freeze any kid's body right away. It'd make them want to leave and never come back.

Logan and Kendall are huddled under the other fort in the kitchen, whispering to each other in hushed tones as they share cans of Pepsi and Cheez-Its. Their hushed, loving tones hit Carlos every once in a while and he can make out a few phrases before the two boys dissolve into dizzying laughter.

"Never know-"

"How could they?"

"They're scared."

"Look, look, look-

"- love you? In fact-"

"-unaware of how he feels-"

"-fear, hate, confusion-"

"-it's worth it in the end-"

"What are they talking about?" James asks as he leans his head up from where it's resting against the back of the couch. He shifts and sits up, moving one of the blankets in the process, and suddenly the ceiling collaspes in on them.

James fidgets around, calling his name as the blankets and sheets and every fabric they could find in the house is wrapped around his head, and he sounds so distinctly scared that Carlos finds his fingers under the sheets and intertwines their fingers. He shifts up and finds the top, pulling it from free from James' head.

James smiles at him, his hair slightly messed up and his eyes still slightly frantic. It's something that thirteen year old boys shouldn't be afraid of anyone, but Carlos knows his secret; he's still terrified of the dark.

Carlos finds one of the flashlights and slips it into James' hands, curling James' fingers around it so he know that he can't lose it, even though he knows that he'll hold onto it for dear life.

It's quiet for a minute under their fort until the thunder hits up again, smashing against the shingles in the house. James tenses up, his shoulders drawn together and slightly relaxes once the only sound in the room is the rain, pouring rain, and Kendall and Logan's secret-sharing.

"You scared?" Carlos asks, tapping on his helmet for good measures.

"Me? Scared? No. Of course not." James laughs awkwardly and then it hits Carlos how terrified he must really be.

Because of course, Mrs. Knight is just next door with Logan's mom and Katie is over at James' house, being watched by his dad, so they know that no one can hurt them.

But it's just the four of them in the house now. Only, it's not really a house anymore as much as it is a giant tunnel of sheets and blankets and other assorted fabrics being held up by dining room chairs and trash cans and whatever else they could find. It wound from the middle of the living room to the dining room and finally ended in the middle of the kitchen, next to the fridge.

It had taken them two hours to complete. Logan and Kendall's half was in the kitchen, while James and Carlos had the living room and the dining room was shared territory. They had turned all the lights off, every light they could find, including unplugging the TV and DVD player so the little blue lights wouldn't flash. They had signs for each little room they made in their tunnel system, and each boy had their own flashlight.

"It's ours, all ours, boys," Kendall had announced as they stood in the hallway, admiring the tunnel system they had built. He had slung his arm over James' shoulder and leaned his head against Logan's. "It's our own."

Lightning flashes through the window and lights up the room, the shadows on James' face. James tenses and for a second, Carlos' heart aches with something that he can't quite name. It feels like something between what he felt when they had found a dead dog on the side of the road and gave it a funeral in the third grade to when Katie had smiled at him and said his name, "Carlos."

It was weird and unpleasent, stirring in his chest, so Carlos went over and wrapped his arms around James and tucked his head under his chin. He could feel him shaking and shivering against his skin and he closed his eyes.

"Hey, nothing's going to hurt you," he said, looking down at him sadly. "I'm here and I'm going to kill them if they touch you. Or squish them, if it's a really big bug."

James sat up and smiled at him a little unsurely. "Thanks. You're my best friend."

Carlos smiled down at him, laying down on the pillows they had laid down in the floor to make a bed. "Yeah, you are too. And Kendall and Logan."

James shook his head. "No. That's not what I mean. You know how Kendall and Logan are closer to each other than us? Well, that's kinda how I feel about you."

He frowned. "What do you mean?"

James shuddered. "Well, I mean… I like you. Like, like-like you, like how I liked Hanna Martinez."

Carlos frowned, reaching out to twirl a piece of James' hair around his finger. "But you kissed her."

"Yeah." James cleared his throat, feeling sweat pool up on his brow. "Yeah, I mean, that's kinda how I like you."

"You mean you want to kiss me? But isn't that wrong? Boys don't kiss each other."

"Well, Kendall and Logan do it sometimes so maybe I thought…."

Carlos leans in and presses his lips against James'. He opens his mouth briefly and is surprised to find that hey, he kind of likes this. But hey, he's never actually kissed a girl, so he doesn't know if this is any different than that, but it definetly feels good.

"Wow," James says as he breaks away. "That was…"

"Awesome," he breathes.

James laughs, grabbing Carlos' helmet and putting it on his head, grinning at him. "How do I look?"

He shakes his head and reaches into James' back pocket, pulling out a purple bandana and tying it around his forehead. He strikes a model pose, squinting his eyes up and sticking out his chest. "How do I look, sexy?"

James shakes his head and kisses him again. They can hear Kendall and Logan, whispering and giggling to each other, sounding so much in love that it makes Carlos' heart ache, so he grabs a blanket and throws it around them both, throwing his leg over James' hips, tucking his head against the side of his neck. He kisses James' skin and starts humming some tune, some long ago sound that he heard. "I give it all to you, letting go of me, reaching as I fall. I know it's already over now, nothing to lose, loving you again, I know it's already over."

Outside, the rain continues to pour.

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_**fin.**_


End file.
